Saturday, April 11, 2015

Deer Crossing...Scary...real scary

Remember, this woman has a driver's license and is out there on the road somewhere. Beware. I hope she doesn't vote because if she does, we are so freakin' screwed......
 

Sunday, February 8, 2015

Peom... THE BATTLING BOYS OF BENGHAZI

THE BATTLING BOYS OF BENGHAZI

We're the battling boys of Benghazi
No fame, no glory, no paparazzi.

Just a fiery death in a blazing hell
Defending our country we loved so well.

It wasn't our job, but we answered the call,
fought to the Consulate and scaled the wall.

We pulled twenty Countrymen from the jaws of fate
Led them to safety, and stood at the gate.

Just the two of us, and foes by the score,
But we stood fast to bar the door.

Three calls for reinforcement, but all were denied,
So we fought, and we fought, and we fought 'til we died.

We gave our all for our Uncle Sam,
But Barack Obama didn't give a damn.

Just two dead Seals who carried the load
No thanks to us......... we're just "Bumps In The Road".
 

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Stories 'Bout The South


Florida
A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out
of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph,
enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.
"Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-95, pushing the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Florida State Trooper, blue
lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110,
then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this!"
and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked
up to the Corvette. He looked at his watch, then said, "Sir, my shift
ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason
for speeding--a reason I've never before heard -- I'll let you go."

The old gentleman paused then said: "Three years ago, my wife ran off
with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.

"Have a good day, Sir," replied the trooper.

Georgia
The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.

He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help.  If I wuz to give yew
$20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"

The secretary thought a moment, and then replied,
"Everthang but my earrings."
 
Louisiana
A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying ...
"When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana ."

When asked why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Louisiana 'cause everythang happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the
rest of the world."


Mississippi
The young man from Mississippi came running into
the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody
just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"

Bubba replied, "Did y'all see who it was?"

The young man answered,
"I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."


North Carolina
A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the
side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front
of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.

A passerby studied the scene as he drove by, and was so curious he turned around and went back.  He asked the fellow what the problem was.

The man replied, "I got a flat tahr."

The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"

The man responded, "When you break down they tell you
to put flares in the front and flares in the back.
I never did understand it neither."

Tennessee
A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. 
The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"

The driver replied, "Bout whut?"


Texas
The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage
out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked,
"Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? 
Don't you see that sign right over your head."

"Yep," he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here,
'cause it says: 'Fine For Dumping Garbage.' "
Y'all kin say whut y'all
want 'about the South,
but y'all never heard o' nobody retirin' an' movin' North.